Since announcing my new(ish) position for next year (full-time Kindergarten, after 9 years of half-K and half-music) I have heard some very interesting comments from people, and have been asked some interesting questions.
I think the best (worst) one was when an adult who shall remain nameless *actually* said to me,
"Well, that's a waste of talent."
Yes. How silly of me. Being a Kindergarten teacher is completely useless. And obviously, an elementary school music classroom is the only place one could possibly use their musical talents.
(Yes, I am aware this person meant well. But seriously.)
Similarly,
"But, I thought music was your passion??"
At least that one was from a child. It is kind of cute that she thought I was giving up my passion for music because I am not going to be running the music program anymore.
"All this time we have taken you for granted! Now we don't want you to go."
This was a sweet 10 year old girl.
After telling them, "the exciting news is that you get a *new* music teacher!!", really trying to spin the news to be positive and happy. This one little guy with the most heartbreaking look of shock on his face says "that is not exciting news...that is terrible news."
I had a conversation with some colleagues and friends today about change, and how children view change in the context of their school community. It is very difficult for children to see me as anything other than their music teacher, simply because I have always been their music teacher. It is difficult for them to picture someone else filling that position, because I have filled it even longer than any of them have been in the school. Now of course, the children will be fine. The school will be fine. Things change all the time in this life! After the first couple music classes with the new teacher, the way she does things will be the new normal!
What my students don't know about me is that though being a teacher is the fulfillment of a lifelong dream, it isn't my only dream. They don't know how many other things I have set on the back burner because so much of my time, energy and creativity has gone into my job. When I practice songs, they are for one of two places - school or church. When I write songs, they are for music class or for one of my crazy spring productions. Other hobbies and passions have been completely ignored due to a lack of free time.
Now, please don't get me wrong....I am not complaining. Taking this job, and remaining in this position for as long as I have has been my choice. I chose it again and again, year after year, because I love it. Teaching music to children is a gift - and I mean it is a gift that the teacher receives.
In many cases, I have seen a different side of children than what they show in the regular classroom. Oftentimes, children who struggle socially or academically excel in music. Many children find freedom in musical expression that they do not feel anywhere else. Music awakens a side of people that may otherwise remain dormant, and to see that in a child is pure magic. I wouldn't trade the 9 years I have taught music for anything. But, as a very wise young lady said in a special speech for me the other day (as she and I both sobbed...), "all good things must come to an end."
It's just time. That's all.
Though I am aware that I will not exactly be sitting around twiddling my thumbs as a full-time Kindergarten teacher, I also know how many extra hours I have devoted to the planning, organizing, maintaining and juggling of two completely separate programs, not to mention all the extra stuff that a music teacher does like choirs, productions and concerts. Streamlining into one will be quite something. I will have more time, no question.
And what will I do with it?
Well, I can't say for sure. But I do have a few ideas...
Have I mentioned how many children's book ideas I have floating around this head of mine?
I love to paint.
I might be a speaker at an upcoming convention for Early Childhood Educators. That may be something I would pursue more of in the future, as well as writing about education.
I make jewelry as a hobby (this is one I have kept up during my years of teaching!) and sell it at Christmas time at markets/community sales.
I used to perform as a singer/songwriter just for fun at little coffee shops. I haven't done a show in over 5 years. I may need some fresh material...
And speaking of performing, I was talking to some good friends about starting up a band just for the heck of it. They may have thought I was kidding, especially since "fanny-packs" is actually in the name we came up with....
Then there is this thing I keep hearing about...I don't really understand it, and I still have a lot more research to do. I think it is called...
...having a life?????
Sounds magical, doesn't it? I'll keep you posted on what I discover on that...
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